"Just take the next step".
"But Jesus... I have NO idea what the next step is so how can I take it?! Do I go this direction? Or the other? Do I take that job or the other one? Do I not take either? What about the coffee shop? Do I start working on that? But my blog. And my book. And I SO want to volunteer at the school this year. If I were to take that job, then who would be here when the kids are sick and need to stay home from school? When would I go grocery shopping? When could I be at the school? I mean there are so many families where both parents work full time and they figure it out... so I am sure we could. But WHY would I be taking this job? We don't need me to take it, so why would I purposely fill our schedule? But I want to be able to keep going to bible study. Should I get The Classic Lavender up and going again? I could handle that. Oh ya, I said I would start teaching Tuesday nights at the church. So now I will be gone two nights a week for bed time. Man, I don't want to miss more than that with the girls. I should start working on my Beachbody coaching again... I can bring some money in doing that. Hmm what if I........."
"Just take the next step. Just the next one."
"But Jesus!! I don't know what that next step is!!" "Beloved, I will show you. Just sit with me." ------------------------- Anyone else's time with Jesus tend to look like this? This is truly what one of my mornings was like last week. Legit. Like all over the place. I had all the questions, all the demands, all the needs for Jesus to answer and to show me and to help me out. Often times I do. I go to Jesus expecting answers. Like He is a cosmic vending machine just waiting to spit out exactly what I need. And don't get me wrong... He does have everything we need, and He wants to give it to us. But we're missing it. I am missing it.
I am missing HIM.
Yes, He wants all my questions and ramblings and craziness. But more than that? He wants me. He wants time with me. Un-scripted, un-interrupted, real and raw time with me. Just me. The God of the universe wants me to sit with Him. Let that sink in. The God of the universe wants YOU to sit with Him. Read that agin. And again.
He wants to give you all the answers... He wants to give me all the answers... but through relationship. Through being with Him.
It's true.... I don't have those answers to all those questions. AND I DON'T NEED TO. That is when I start running on my own and say "I've got this, God."
Sweet sister, Jesus wants you to sit at His feet. With no agenda. With worship. With adoration. With thanksgiving.
I get so tired of my kids asking me for things during the day. All day long... "Mom! Can I have milk?" "MOM! Will you wipe my bum?" "Will you get me a snack?" "Mama, what did Zoe want?" "Will you tie this?" "Where's my teddy?" "I need my baby! Will you get it?" "No, not that baby! The flower baby! No!! Not that flower baby! The BLUE flower baby!" Need. Need. Need. Question. Question. Question.
By the end of the day I am needed and questioned out. What I crave is to sit on the couch, have my girls snuggle up on my lap, and have them tell me all about their day, or about the dream they had last night, or the thing they're excited about.
Our Heavenly Father is exactly the same. Luckily for us, He IS patience, so His patience never runs out... unlike mine. But the idea is the same. The heart is the same. He wants us to snuggle up and tell him about our day, about what sets our souls on fire, what we love about Him, what we are thankful for. Don't get me wrong... He wants to hear our questions too, and nothing is too much for Him. But lately I have had this pull to just be with Him. To soak. To receive grace and peace and contentment. All of that only comes from Him.
So then I am filled up with Him. So that then when I need to give my answer to the job offer, I know the next step. Because I have been with Him. And I have peace. I can take that next step and that's IT! I don't have to figure out the rest. I just step. One, little, baby step.
And what happens? My faith grows. My confidence grows. My peace grows. My love for Him grows because I see Him practically moving in my every day, in the every little detail. And I am staying right there with Him, each and every little step.
I am loving this season of unknowing. I am loving saying YES to what He has blessed and saying NO to what adds anxiety and stress and uncertainty. And when I don't have direction from Him? I sit and wait longer. And that's okay.
What season are you in right now with Jesus? What is He showing YOU? I would LOVE to know!!